Here we go again.....

                                                                 Well here we go again!

I know I have said I am going to start writing and I really do want to but I've come to realize that I may have a self-confidence problem. I know you were thinking I was going to say self-esteem problem, but NO. I really do think highly of myself but it's a balanced "highly" of myself. I know I have flaws and quick to dispute a compliment, however I dare someone try to say something bad about me. So therefore I feel I have a good self-esteem. When it matters I know my worth.

Now, back to my self-confidence problem. It has gotten me by the...... whats the saying, hold please while I google this moment. (Insert your own elevator music here-Meditation Music......)

After some research I think the word I'm looking for is inappropriate so lets just say for family sake, this self confidence problem has put me in a bind. As a person who knows there "worth"- wait I just heard it as I was typing. How could I know my worth if I'm dealing with a confidence issue??? Humm.

Maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle. I tell you I have been doing that all day. I talk to God and Jesus Christ almost every day. Sadly I don't say my prayers every day but I do talk to the Lord. Today I was in one of my moods and I simply wrote down:
             
            "What is the Question to ask so that I know what the correct answer is"?

I went on about my business. I had already decided I wasn't going to make it to church today. I just- I don't know. So I decided not to go, but I turned on K-Wave and listened to the broadcast from Calvary Chapel Church in California and man did GOD answer. He gave me the question and the answer and the instruction on how to go forth. Its between me and God but let me just say ask and you shall receive- if you listen. Anyway I say that to say, that my first question was what is the question, yet my other questions were about me... Am i happy, do I really know how to relax, etc. you know the Joyce Meyers robot impression of "what about me, what about me". I never really thought about one, my first question and two my other questions for that much.

But before the church program came on, I of course started working on answering my own questions... Not having faith in my own belief and therefore practices. Why write down in my prayer book and not let God answer- huh?

Anyway, so I started working on the answers and I realized that I have too much clutter in my life-period. Too much clutter in my closet, drawers, shoes, make up drawers, hair accessories, etc. Memories in my mind of past hopes, dreams, let downs, build ups. Friends, enemies, children, just clutter. I have not let anything go. Not in my spirit, not in my tangible world not in my mind. CLUTTER.  So I said I am going to just get rid of the clutter. But then I became overwhelmed.

Where lord do I start. So I sat back and shook my head. Luckily it was time for the Church program to start, so I imagined, i'm not even sure what made me check. So I turned on the my app and the word of God preceded before me and in the present at the same time. How did this preacher know this is what I needed to hear. I asked this question this morning, he prepared his sermon when??? Only today did I see this message like this.

Every talk to God and then get an answer. You always assume that it is only happening in that moment. But how often do we realize that God had been doing something in that person's life or in that situation for however long for right at this moment I get the answer I need.   Cool if you think about it.

So long story short, here we go again. I am going to make a commitment to myself and to me and to who I am that I am going to not only build my confidence so I can share the word, I am going to share the word daily. I don't think our purpose is anything other than witness and testify. God Bless and God Speed.

Proverbs 13:4: "The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat."

Bye for now.

START WITH INSPIRATION

What's new pussy cat... whoa whoa whoa whoa....

Well to be actually honest with you nothing is new. Nothing except it is time to get off my but and contribute to society. 

I'm not really sure what exactly I would want to talk about or who would want to listen. I noticed when ever I go down that route I always talk myself out of writing.

Oddly it was the debate that got me wanting to blog again. I found myself feeling so passionate about what was going on that I couldn't help but tweet about it. Now don't get me wrong, I love twitter but it can be restricting. The word limitation just really makes it hard to express myself. 

Anyone who knows me knows, it is very hard to make my point with little words. I find there is a lot in the world that is actually BLACK AND WHITE. What is ironic is even black and white people aren't as simple as black and white. Anyway, I found it hard to say what I had to say on twitter so I switched to my Facebook account. 

Now I'm not a big fan of Facebook. I don't like a lot of the images that are allowed to surface, but I'm finding twitter is not that much better. Nevertheless, I started to express my opinion on Facebook. Although I appreciated the likes, it seem Facebook is mostly concerned about "personal" things for lack of better words. Like look what I did today, or some nude picture. Point being it's hard to figure out how to follow the issues and really get your message out. So I went back and forth between Facebook and twitter.

Then one day I say a tweet from #hannahsnotebook on my twitter account and she mentioned that she couldn't help it but she was going to start back blogging. I couldn't believe it. In such a short phrase she captured exactly what I was thinking and feeling. So of course me being who I am I decided to reach out to her and ask. was she starting over or was she going to pick up right where she left off. She mentioned she was going to just pick up right where she left off. 

INSPIRING!

I was inspired. I told her, that sounded like a plan and that I was going to start this weekend. Of course I put it off because again I had no clue what I was going to write about. But here I am and here we are. So my first blog, back on the blog scene is dedicated to #hannahsnotebook. She might not want to be what inspired this particular blog because I  am not sure of the substance but if nothing more. This has help me get out there and get started.

So I  think about it this way, if I was inspired the least I could do is one, try not to waste the inspiration that was given to me, and two, try to inspire someone else. So I just want to say to anyone that is reading this blog, who has a destiny they want to go after; a goal they want to achieve or a dream that has been calling their name for way to long-FIND SOMEONE WHO INSPIRES YOU and don't look back.

As a tribute to a person who may not know they have inspired me, i say check out her latest blog post. I know I will.

www.hannahsnotebook.net/2016/04/loreal-paris-true-match-foundation.html

Until next time... Thanks for reading and I hope to see you soon. 

-Crystal

- See more at: http://suitcaseentrepreneur.com/blogchallenge/?inf_contact_key=53cbec6c0f0621a67c98582ebb3ab619680c7eaee7a7a6062d9ab28833750651#sthash.uFhNoTcw.dpuf

Final thought

Where do you start when your nearing the end? Where.do you start when there are no pieces to put back together? Do we wait and get lost in the details or do we just keep going till God says ok you've learned, now ask me again. No worry no stress.

Assist with Suicide or Not? What message are we sending

In moments of illness and caring for the ill we become exhausted our spirit as well as our bodies sometimes become broken and we feel we know best. I believe in freedom of choice, but my fear of God would not allow me to assist in suicide as a medical professional. If a person choose to end their life I would refer them to someone who was comfortable with that. Be that said, if a person was hooked up to a machine, I would be more taking them off the machine. I don't agree with introducing death to end pain. However I agree with increasing pain to restore life, and life's natural course is we live and then we die. Not we live and then when we can't take it kill yourself. Now that would create a whole new set of moral issues in the world. It is possible this generation may have hidden within them the next set of world geniuses, however this generations lets face it is lazy. I blame the over availability of electronics. Who can blame us if it in a way puts the child at an advantage. Needless to say that is a cocktail bomb waiting to happen. Take a lazy generation, who may never had to really work hard at anything, and give them the excuse that when you can't take it, end it. There will be some cases where death is granted, but it should not be under the conditions of stress, pain, disappointment and compliance. It should be based on understanding, respect, acceptance and with all you got. How else can you truly go in peace?

What are your thoughts on assisted suicide?

 

Black Opal: Dr. King Tribute

‎"There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us" Martain Luther King Jr. Dr. King has inspired me by simply the calmness, the understanding mixed with sadness and pain in his face. I was born in 1977 so I only really know the after effects of the struggle from such a great man. I accept that he was just a man with both good and bad in him. However what he choose to do with the good outweighed what he choose to do with the bad. That is all anyone can hope for. I think like Michael Jackson when it comes to helping the world. I start with the man in the mirror. I am a good person by fear of God, and a sinner by nature. My husband wanted to go back to school, so we left our home and I supported him until he graduated. It was hard. A new state, no family a three year old and a temp job. We made it work. A year later my step son decided he didn’t' want to live with his mom so we fought her tooth and nail and he came to live with us. I raise him as my own. When my husband graduated we moved again. Another new state, even further from family. Three years later in 2012, my step daughter decides she doesn't want to live with her mom any more either. When I was laid off, I went back to school. Small strides, but I'm raising children that are not mine, but are my responsibility. My mom taught me that you don't have to be a product of your environment. That is what I'm trying to teach and show my kids. That is what I think INDIVIDUALS like DR. Martain Luther King represent to me.

An Irony

Why does a liar lie? Is it because they feel lied to or is it because of the feeling they got from telling there first lie? Either way, one would have to lie to answer this question-sad isn't it. Irony

So why does  the liar in your life lie? Did you lie or did you buy it without correction?